Sunday, July 13, 2008
Okayy, ii got a confession to make.
ii keep playing GunBound these few days to vent my anger because ii have no means ot venting it out whatsoever.
ii can't just cry anf throw a tantrum like what ii used to do when ii was a small kid.
Because ii ain't one.
ii know.
That seems unlike me right?
But seriously.
ii really don't know how to vent out all my frustrations.
ii know ii want to be happy.
ii know ii wanna smile from deep beneath my heart.
ii also know that ii want to be the happy person that ii used to be.
ii wanna laugh and scream in joy like ii was in sec 1,2&3.
Is that so hard?
Are my wishes that hard to fulfil?
ii think about every single thing like daily.
ii know its wrong.
Because of these things, ii can't sleep.
My whole sleeping cycle has been turned upside down becaus of it.
Even Nicole can FORCE herself to sleep while ii just whallow in my own sorrow.
How pathetic can ii get? Really. Just how pathetic am ii now?
Am ii smiling from beneath?
And am ii thinking about all the facts that would soon drive me into that state that ii really detest and don't want to revisit?
Will it?
ii just don't know.
Is that me?
Is that the me that was always inside, just without the chance to show?
ii just realised something about me.
Everytime someone has a problem, he/she will ALWAYS find their way to me.
Which means ii will try ways and means to solve it for them.
And when ii have a problem, ii don't know who to find.
Isn't that GREAT?
Maybe thats just me, maybe thats how iim supposed to be.
Maybe that what iim supposed to do.
Maybe, iim just weak.
Love is something we all yearn.
Which is something we must earn.
Friends and family we must treasure.
You are someone ii will pleasure.
Thats something ii made up.
When Sakdiyah sent me a poem the other day.
ii just thought ii might share it with you all.
ii know, ii am very mean to you all and stuffs like that.
But you people are really very very important to me.
ii cannot bear losing you all.
ii really don't.
ii hope you will understand what iim thinking with this poem.
Labels: Am ii weak?
Imprints of ♥ 4:54 PM.
