Sunday, July 13, 2008
You can tell people that these few days, they have changed. But maybe, in all those things you are telling people, you are actually hinting to them that YOU are the one who has underwent some form of change, in one way or another. But people don't know and don't understand what you are talking about. They think that you are either spounting nonsense or they just look at you in a quizing manner, maybe thinking about what you are talking about or thinking that you are just plain ridiculous. Does that happen to you often? ii think it does you know. And thats what gets to me the most. Look at things this way alright, we are humans, who undergo changes in one form or another. Be it physically, mentally or emotionally. Have you undergone any physical, mental or emotional change? If you had, what does it feel like? Do you feel safe? Do you feel like nothing can get in your way? Do you feel like it is something that you definitely can overcome and embrace it to be the new you? If you can, then maybe its just me. Maybe its just that iim weak. ii cannot stop thinking about all those things that ii have done to hurt someone. Neither can ii not think about what ii had undergone in these things. Break-ups, pushing away of feelings, not thinking about someone. Can you? ii also cannot stop thinking about all the pain inflicted on other people. Be it physical, mental or emotional. To me, emotional hurt is the worst kind of hurt you can make someone go through. Its like asking someone to go kill his/her own loved one. It feels like shit. Yes, ii do know that. And ii do know that ii don't like that feeling. ii hurt many people before him. And they hurt me before too. ii usually do not care about whether they really hurt me because to me, as long as they are alright, ii will do anything in my power and mean to make sure that they stay safe. is that thinking wrong? Or am ii really just too naiive to think in that manner? ii REALLY think that iim just the naiive girl ii always am. And that ii will never change. You see, ii really don't want anything to happen to ANY one of them, at all. Be it my current crush, ex-crush, boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. That is becaus ethey used to be mine and ii used to have many happy moments with them. Now, they are all just memories, all tucked away in the deepest, darkest place in my heart, where ii use them as platforms in my future, to make sure ii don't make the same mistakes as ii used to. Is that wrong? Or ii once again, just thinking to naiive-ly? ii wonder, and ii ponder. Do you?
Labels: am ii?, ii really am stupid
Imprints of ♥ 5:01 AM.
