Sunday, April 26, 2009
i wanna fucking SHOUT MY LUNGS OUT, CRY AND BRAWL LIKE A BABY AND JUST EMO THE SHIT OUTTA ME. Again.
i mean like, really. My mood now ain't so good.
i just feel like doing stupid things. i saw that post.
i saw what she thought.
i saw whatever she wanted to tell everyone.
i saw what she felt, i saw what she really fears.
i saw what she hates, i saw almost everything.
The things that happened in the past one year.
Those bonds that pulled us together.
As close or even best friends.
Making her my daughter.
But ever since i graduated, i felt like, we are now, drifting.
i rarely talk to her, i rarely see her, i rarely call or sms her.
Its like, no more contact whatsoever.
It is something i really dislike.
i don't want to grow up, when im in my 20s or 30s,
and i see my phonebook, my contact list.
And suddenly i remember, i used to have a friend called Irene,
i used to be close friends with her in Secondary school.
But i lost contact with her after i graduated.
The memories are still in my brain.
But i don't know how she's doing now.
Its been ages since i last sms-ed or spoke to her.
No, thats not what i want.
Everyone wants a ever-lasting friendship.
So do i.
i love her as my friend, i love her like my sister.
i care for her like how i care for my close friends,
get worried when something happens,
get upset when something goes wrong and she is feeling sad.
Feel happy for her when she is, feel anger for her when she's bullied.
But suddnely, it seems like its all changed.
And only in a span of a few months.
i wanna smile and be brave.
i wanna laugh and be happy like i used to.
i wanna make things revert back to normal.
i wanna make things seem like it used to be the way it was.
i want the past.
i miss it a hell lot.
Some people ask.
Is it really worth crying because of this.
Some think its not worth.
SOMEONE by the initials DSJJ doesn't.
But i think i do.
Sometimes, i do realise how much i suck.
People want me to change, but i always refuse and resist changing.
i always make it worser and worser than before.
Which made me into the person that i am now.
People sometimes say, its too late to regret, whats done is done.
Somehow, its true.
You can't change the fact that you are who you are now,
because of what you've done in the past.
Thats why im still crying my eyes off,
and getting chided at by some people.
But having someone to comfort and listen to your problems.
It ain't such a bad thing.
Even if that person can get as irritating as a porcupine sticking needles up your ass,
still, its nice.
Thanks.
i mean like, really. My mood now ain't so good.
i just feel like doing stupid things. i saw that post.
i saw what she thought.
i saw whatever she wanted to tell everyone.
i saw what she felt, i saw what she really fears.
i saw what she hates, i saw almost everything.
The things that happened in the past one year.
Those bonds that pulled us together.
As close or even best friends.
Making her my daughter.
But ever since i graduated, i felt like, we are now, drifting.
i rarely talk to her, i rarely see her, i rarely call or sms her.
Its like, no more contact whatsoever.
It is something i really dislike.
i don't want to grow up, when im in my 20s or 30s,
and i see my phonebook, my contact list.
And suddenly i remember, i used to have a friend called Irene,
i used to be close friends with her in Secondary school.
But i lost contact with her after i graduated.
The memories are still in my brain.
But i don't know how she's doing now.
Its been ages since i last sms-ed or spoke to her.
No, thats not what i want.
Everyone wants a ever-lasting friendship.
So do i.
i love her as my friend, i love her like my sister.
i care for her like how i care for my close friends,
get worried when something happens,
get upset when something goes wrong and she is feeling sad.
Feel happy for her when she is, feel anger for her when she's bullied.
But suddnely, it seems like its all changed.
And only in a span of a few months.
i wanna smile and be brave.
i wanna laugh and be happy like i used to.
i wanna make things revert back to normal.
i wanna make things seem like it used to be the way it was.
i want the past.
i miss it a hell lot.
Some people ask.
Is it really worth crying because of this.
Some think its not worth.
SOMEONE by the initials DSJJ doesn't.
But i think i do.
Sometimes, i do realise how much i suck.
People want me to change, but i always refuse and resist changing.
i always make it worser and worser than before.
Which made me into the person that i am now.
People sometimes say, its too late to regret, whats done is done.
Somehow, its true.
You can't change the fact that you are who you are now,
because of what you've done in the past.
Thats why im still crying my eyes off,
and getting chided at by some people.
But having someone to comfort and listen to your problems.
It ain't such a bad thing.
Even if that person can get as irritating as a porcupine sticking needles up your ass,
still, its nice.
Thanks.
Imprints of ♥ 10:23 PM.
