i don't like the kind of person i'm becoming. i really don't like it. The person i am now is like how i used to be in poly. Except that i am not THAT bad. Unlike last time. i skipped classes every fucking day. i ran away from school every single chance i could get. Why? Because i didn't wanna see the people who hated me. But the problem is. Even though there are people in my current class who hate me. There are people who like me. SeeHui, Natasha, Fahmi, Naveen. Even though i don't like it when they tease me about this. But even people like JunHao. Zhiyang, Elstan, PoHin, Joseph. They actually do make a difference in my life. The others like Snoopy. Garfield, KC etc. They are also reasons as to why i wanted to go to school before. So why am i running away? WHAT am i running away from? i'm running away from stupidity? i'm escaping from the reality that i'm actually a failure? i'm trying to hide the fact that i'm actually irresponsible and unworthy? Just what is my problem. i don't have any problems with anyone in the class. i honestly don't. So why do i keep running away from class for? Why do i keep skipping? Is it because i don't like what is being taught? No i don't think so. i don't mind what is being taught. Is it because the things taught are too simple? No, there are so many things that i don't know about. So what the hell am i doing to my damn diploma and my future?! Seriously! What am i doing?! i just received my wake-up call from SeeHui and Natasha. They had to scream at me on facebook just to ask me to go back to school. What is my goal in life. What is it that i wanna do in my life. i wanna cook, i'm damn sure of it. i wanna open my own restaurant, a place to call my own. i wanna cook for people, and see their smiles. i wanna go overseas and cook for them. i wanna make what i love my profession. A hobby and a passion is different. i'm very well clear of it. i really am. What i have about my cooking is half-hearted passion and alot of love. What am i supposed to do now. i need to nurture my passion all over again. i need to start from zero. Is this all i can do to help myself? i'm at a loss now.